One Month

Dec. 14, 2010.  It has been one month since Chandler went to be with the Lord.  The past month has been difficult.  I cry off an on every day.  There are so many different things that will trigger a tear.  I've had days when I didn't want to get out of bed.  I've had days where I didn't want to do anything.  I don't want to eat, don't want to fix the kids anything to eat, don't want to wash a dish.  I don't want to do laundry.  I don't want to do "normal" everyday things because there is nothing "normal" about what we are going through.  Every day seems to get harder rather than better.  Each day that goes by means that it has been that much more time since he was here with us.  A month has gone by already.  That hurts!  I would love to go back to the day of the accident.  I want to wake up and start that day over and do everything completely differently.