I went to the cemetery this morning. I went alone because it's what I wanted. When I got there, I sat down, removed the flowers that were there and just started cleaning up the stone and the area around it. I placed the new flowers that I had made and just sat and spent some time there.
I started talking. Within about a minute's time, I heard something and saw something quickly go by me. I saw it. Then, it came right back by me. It was a dragonfly. I lost it. I haven't seen a dragonfly at the cemetery in a while now. So, when I saw this one today, I just wept. The timing was too perfect. I felt like God was there. He made it very clear. It's like He was there to comfort me and it's like He also was letting me know that Chandler even knew I was there.
It began to heat up very quickly outside. It was in the 90's today. I began to sweat but I didn't care. I just wanted to sit there. 30 minutes went by quickly and it was hard to get myself to leave. The feeling I had from God showing up was just too good and I hated for it to end. Now, I know that God is with us everywhere. But, I don't always feel like God is around. I'm sure it's all my fault. I'm sure it can be due to me not seeking Him the way I should or spending time in prayer, etc. So, when God decides to show up and make it so clear that I can not doubt it then you better believe I'm going to soak it all in.
Before I left, I had something else I had to do. If the flowers that I replace are still in pretty good shape then I always like to share them with someone else and place them on another grave. I looked around and it seemed like every vase around Chandler's area had flowers. I looked as far as I could see. Some were very faded and obviously had been there a while but I try to put flowers in an empty vase first. I kept looking and I finally found one. It was on the first row near the street. I took the flowers and walked over. It was a large stone with a husband and wife's name. The wife had passed away. I read the husband's name. He was still living. Under his name it said "Corp US Marines". I couldn't believe it. Of all the empty vases, this was the only one around and the husband was a Marine. So, I placed the flowers in the vase for another Marine family. To most, this may not be a big deal. But, to me, it meant a lot!
So, I walked back to Chandler's grave, gathered all of my stuff and got ready to leave. My day had started better than I could have imagined. The time spent taking care of Chandler's memorial spot was perfect and very special.
Thank you, Lord, for showing up when you know I need it most. I should always trust that you're there anyway. You probably get tired of my doubts. But, you continue to be there for me, to love me and comfort me on this journey I'm on. You make your presence known and you make it so clear to me so that I don't doubt it.
