2 Years

The words for this blog just aren't coming easily.  I keep typing and deleting, typing and deleting.  It's hard to believe that today marks the 2 year anniversary of Chandler going to heaven.  Sometimes I feel like it just happened because I can remember those days so vividly.  Sometimes if feels like forever ago.  We still face each day one at a time.  Some days are still harder than others.  It can stem from the mood I wake up to or  just seeing a picture of Chandler can bring back a memory that makes me miss him even more.  I can hear a song that will trigger emotions for one reason or another.  There are so many other things that can turn an okay day into a very emotional one.  Corben and Carlie will often recall memories of Chandler.  I love when they remember things.  They were so young (5 & 6) when Chandler passed away so I worry that they'll forget a lot of things they shared with Chandler.  That's why I'm thrilled when they bring up memories of Chandler.  But sometimes when they talk about him, my heart just breaks for them.  I think 'why can't Caleb, Corben and Carlie have their big brother here with them?'  It breaks my heart that they have had to experience such a huge loss at such a young age. 

We are so amazed to still have so much love and support from family and friends during this time.  We are still so appreciate of the thoughts and prayers from everybody.  The prayers do work.  God hears y'all and he helps us through the days. 

This blog is shorter than most because I can't seem to come up with the right words.  I guess a part of me is in a little bit of shock just thinking about the "2 year anniversary".  I'm just at a loss for words.  But
there is a song by Kenny Chesney that is written so perfectly.  I often have thoughts go through my mind like 'what would Chandler be doing?  where would he go to school?  would he have a family?', etc.  So, I'll end this blog with those lyrics that say it all so much better than I can right now. 


Who You'd Be Today lyrics - Kenny Chesney
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.

It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who'd you be today?

Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family,
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue,
I feel like I can talk to you,
An' I know it might sound crazy.

It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who you'd be today?

Today, today, today.
Today, today, today.

[Instrumental Break]

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
The only thing that gives me hope,
Is I know I'll see you again some day.