Resolutions for Bereaved Parents

I received the following in an email today:

 

Resolutions for Bereaved Parents:

I will grieve as much and for as long as I feel like grieving, and I will not let others put a time table on my grief.

I will grieve in whatever way I feel like grieving, and I will ignore those who try to tell me what I should or should not be feeling and how I should or should not be behaving.

I will cry whenever and wherever I feel like crying, and I will not hold back my tears just because someone else feels I should be "brave" or "getting better" or "healing by now."

I will talk about my child as often as I want to, and I will not let others turn me off just because they can't deal with their own feelings.

I will not expect family and friends to know how I feel, understanding that one who has not lost a child cannot possibly know how it feels.

I will not blame myself for my child's death, and I will constantly remind myself that I did the best job of parenting I could possibly have done.  But when feelings of guilt are overwhelming me, I will remind myself that this is a normal part of the grief process and it will pass.

I will not be afraid or ashamed to seek professional help if I feel it is necessary.

I will commune with my child at least once a day in whatever way feels comfortable and natural to me, and I won't feel compelled to explain this communication to others or to justify--or even discuss it--with them.

I will try to eat, sleep and exercise every day in order to give my body strength it will need to help me cope with my grief.

I will know that I am not losing my mind and I will remind myself that loss of memory, feelings of disorientation, lack of energy and a sense of vulnerability are all normal parts of the grief process.

I know that I will heal, even though it will take a long time.  I will let myself heal and not feel guilty about feeling better when it starts to happen.

I will remind myself that the grief process is circuitous--that is, I will not make steady upward progress.  And when I find myself slipping back into the old moods of despair and depression, I will tell myself that "slipping backward" is also a normal part of the grief process, and these moods, too, will pass.