God Speaks

Most of my family and friends know that November is a hard month for me.  It's very emotional for a lot of reasons.  We celebrate Chandler's birthday but we also have the anniversary of  Chandler going home to heaven all within 5 days of each other.  I can already feel those days approaching.  So, when God speaks to me and it is so clear, it is very exciting and encouraging. 

I can remember very vividly what I was wearing the day of Chandler's accident, from my clothing to my shoes to my jewelry.  It wasn't anything special or amazing.  I think it's just the fact that I wore those clothes for 2 days while we were at the hospital.  Well, I was getting clothes together for church tonight.  I have to do it on Saturday night or I will never be ready on Sunday morning to leave on time.  I pulled out a shirt to wear and it happened to be the one that I wore during those days at the hospital.  Yes, it's almost 4 years later and I still have some of the same clothes.  If clothes still fit and look good, I keep them.  Anyway, I went to iron my shirt.  As I was ironing, I noticed something that I had never noticed before.  In the tag area was a picture of a dragonfly.  I just stopped ironing and stared at it for a minute.  I was amazed at what I was seeing.  Not too long after Chandler passed away, I ran across a story of the dragonfly.  I loved it and at that time I chose it as our symbol to remember Chandler.  So, it is very special to me every time I see one.  So, when I saw the dragonfly in my shirt, I just felt like God was speaking.  He was reminding me that he has been with us this whole time.  He was with us in the hospital and he is with us now.  It also seems that God chose the dragonfly for me as our symbol.  It was in my shirt that day and then He led me to the dragonfly story months after Chandler passed.  But, He took almost 4 years to let me see the big picture.  Of all of the shirts I could have worn that day, it just amazes me that I wore one that had a dragonfly in it, a symbol that would mean so much to me soon after. 

So, I am encouraged by God's message to me tonight.  Will I have bad days ahead?  Yes.  Will I cry a lot more than usual?  Yes.  Will I question things?  Yes.  But, I can also trust that God is going to get me through these more difficult days just like he does every other day.  It's only because of Him that I have made it this far. 


Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.  Psalm 23:4